sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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