Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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