Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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