I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize