i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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