no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
