Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Blow job season was short but glorious.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
