We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
