SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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