do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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