i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
