i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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