He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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