Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
