I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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