You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
