Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
