all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
