for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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