And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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