I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
