Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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