I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize