i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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