Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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