my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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