Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
