mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
