I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
