Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
