you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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