On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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