I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My pussy is not your playground.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
