Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
