Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My life is pants optional.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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