She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
