Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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