i need an iv and a liver transplant
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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