I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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