new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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