it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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