West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can I color on your dick again?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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