i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
