omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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