doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
jump out the window naked night went bad
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