It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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