At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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