Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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