he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
COCAINE IS GR8
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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