I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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