are you still at the devil's house?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
