His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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