btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
