My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize