so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
