I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
