Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
