Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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